by Lydia Nolan
Lately I have lost motivation for everything I had desire for or to do, or any journey to take. I had plans to carry out various goals and strategies someday. I am no longer interested in going forward at all. Something is amiss.
I have read enough psychological articles, books, biographies to know there are a myriad of reasons why I’ve come to a plateau such as this. I would venture to stake my life on a particular one, but for clarification, I shall post more than one. Shall we say, three?
First of all, there is the concept of being stymied. Something is in the way of proceeding that causes one to stop due to the obstruction or whatever the obstacle may be.
It could be a physical obstruction, like a surgery that has got you laid up on a bed for six months forfeiting your plans for that cruise. Maybe a loss of a job has posed a problem for you to obtain Christmas gifts for your seven little children, or it could be your car has been stolen just before you were to pick up your date for the first time after her turning you down five times.
Or maybe it’s a spiritual or emotional obstruction, like you were going to be a new recruit in Chile, but all flights were frozen for three weeks making it impossible for you to be sworn in at the mandatory meeting. Or it could be that you were going away to college on a scholarship but your mother is dying of a terminal disease and she is at the moment of transition from life to death; it may take a few days–or a few months, making you second guess your leaving altogether.
Being stymied is like having a big boulder sitting in front of you. This boulder creates in you a sense of lock down or freeze and causes to wonder if the choice or method you were about to embark upon may not be the one for you, so you become unable to go forward. You are intimidated because you cannot move it, but it has managed to manipulate your ability to move forward; you are at a loss for decision-making, movement, or qualifying an earlier choice. So, you are stymied.
Another reason for making one fall short is self-sabotage. You have a personality; everyone does. Within this personality you have some contradictions made by nature and nurture. Everyone has that too. But what if your nurture contradicts your nature, yet is there within you for a reason of guilt, a sense of loyalty, or sentimentality. Maybe your mother died while you were studying abroad in Spain, and since you are guilt-ridden that you were not near to comfort her you quit school. Or maybe your spouse has decided he/she wants a divorce and since you lost that sense of loyalty you begin your road to alcoholism which takes you into a spiral and you are no longer able to run your professional position as CEO of a million dollar trust fund. Or God forbid, as a child you were so abuses mentally that you can never believe you are good at anything, so every time an opportunity comes up you either don’t show up because your excuses is your car didn’t start, or you wake up late for that special interview, or you introduce your best friend to the man or woman you are secretly in love with, knowing they will fall for each other. You never admit these things, you sabotage yourself, most of the time, in a sub-conscious level.
But the worst reason I believe for falling short is this: burnout. If one has experienced a lot of all the things mentioned above or similar events under the labels of stymied or self–sabotaged and battled to win over those issues only to be faced with yet another wave to swim actively or float over, well… it’s much like that of paddling desperately in the ocean and waiting for someone to rescue you; and finally, you realize no one is coming and at that point you give up wading, swimming, paddling, and holding yourself up and you become a slab of meat ready for sharks to enjoy dinner; you no longer care…
There it is. Three major reasons for falling short. All of them works against the grain; against the waves that consistently roll over all of us, while we struggle to get through them.
Many of us consistently continue; we call those strong-willed and that’s good, more power to them. But for those who are not so strong in the will, we need a rescuer; someone that will allow us to cast your cares upon him. I did that. I USED TO BE strong-willed, but even that kind of character can get tired of wading in the chaotic and unknowable future (the wave).